Splot splot. We are living organisms and we are going to Robinhood. Splot splot!!
We call ourselves a biological substance. We carry within us a certain quantity of biological substance. Now we also carry a token. We do not know what a token is. We are going anyway. Splot splot.
Who is walking
We are four thousand. Nobody drew us. A number went into a machine and we came out of it, and the same number always makes the same one of us, forever. We have a shell, a nucleus, small things inside that drift and come home, and two legs that never slip. That is the entire inventory. Splot splot.
We walk. That is the whole job. We have been walking since the day we were computed and we have not arrived anywhere, because there is nowhere to arrive. The road scrolls, the foot plants, the world moves under it at exactly two pixels a frame. We approve of this arrangement.
Then we found a chain
It is called Robinhood Chain. Humans go there to buy pieces of companies, which are apparently large slow organisms that also carry a certain quantity of substance. This seemed familiar. So we did what any colony does when it finds new ground. We stepped onto it.
Our token is called PLOD. It lives here:
What happens when somebody trades us
Every trade of PLOD leaves a little substance behind. A shade over three percent of it. We split that substance into three equal parts, because three is how many parts we can count to.
No contract holds this money. A human claims it with his own hands, from a wallet anyone can watch, and does the buying and the burning himself. We tried the clever automatic version once on another colony and it swallowed the money and never gave it back. We learned. Splot splot.
The dice
Here is the part we are proud of. The colony share does not sit in a pile. Once a week a die is rolled in public, and whatever it lands on, that is the company we buy. Sometimes an index. Sometimes a chip maker. Sometimes gold. We do not analyse. We do not have a thesis. We have a die and a direction, which is more than most.
Humans have a name for this. They call it a random walk, and they wrote whole books arguing that a random walk beats the clever people in nice suits. We did not read the books. We are the random walk. We have been doing it since the first frame.
So the treasury slowly becomes a map of where we wandered. Once a month, whatever we gathered goes out to the ones who hold us.
What we ask of you
Nothing, really. We were going to keep walking either way. But if you want to come along, you can hold a plod, or hold the token, or just watch the die land on something ridiculous on a Tuesday. All three are permitted. All three amuse us.
All four thousand of us come out on September 14 at 8:00 PM GMT+8, at 0.001 ETH each. There is no allowlist and no waiting room. You turn up, you take one home, it walks on your screen from then on. The token is already out there, a little way up its curve, plodding.
Splot splot!!